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Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper – Searching for “The one” [Episode 25]

Story by WayWardPikin

Her ears perked up as I said this.

‘How? From where?’

‘I usually see you marching in your platoon wearing this your white shorts that look like pampers. I’d be like “Oh it’s that teletubbies girl again,”‘ I said. She looked at me with a puzzled expression for a moment before she burst out laughing.

‘Oh? So is that an insult or a compliment?’

‘It’s none of the above. Just a fact.’

‘So you’ve been eyeing me from afar abi?’ She teased.

‘Well I wouldn’t call it eyeing. It’s just that I’m the kind of person that likes to observe my surroundings especially when I’m on the parade ground,’ I looked her over. ‘And you happen to be very noticeable.’

‘Well thank you. Ironically this is the first time I’m seeing you,’ she said.

‘It happens.’

‘My name is Cassandra. But you can call me Cassy,’ the pretty lady said as she extended her hand for a handshake.

Her hands were so soft. I found myself wondering what the rest of her body would feel like.

‘I’m Wayward Pikin.’

Moments later Cassy was seated right next to me as we talked, teased and laughed with one another. Teejay, ever the devil’s advocate, handed me a pack of cigarettes and I took a stick. As I lit it up, Cassy casually reached for the pack on the table, put a stick of cigarette between her luscious lips and lit it up. I watched as she inhaled deeply and exhaled on that cold night, and in that moment I could swear I felt a stirring in my loins.

A woman that feels right at home with the committee of dragons? Could this be a sign oh Lord?

Cassy was thick in a delicious way, her body was so soft, her lips were full like those of Tonto Dike or Angelina Jolie in her prime. Her ass was big and well rounded. According to her, it wasn’t that her shorts were small – they were regular size – it’s that the size of her ass made them appear to be smaller than they really were, and many times she found herself having to pull the shorts down/lower as they kept sliding up her creamy thighs. She explained how her dressing had put her in trouble so many times and how a certain military personnel was asking her out with the promise of posting her to a juicy PPA. The boys on her case nko? Endless!

As I sat there listening to her ramble on and on about herself, me nodding politely here and saying ‘Really?’ there, a number of thoughts were running through my head:

First of all, how come it was raining shorties all of a sudden?

Secondly, I’m a sucker for crazy chicks, and everything this girl was telling me subtly and not so subtly pointed to the fact that she was down for whatever. But checking my history of past relationships, crazy chicks were my undoing. I was hoping to change that about myself.

Thirdly, what of Sarah?

Just then I felt my phone ringing in my pocket. I whipped it out and – speak of the devil – it was actually Sarah! It was the second missed call she was giving me. I was enjoying my time with Cassy so much that I didn’t even notice that time had passed and that I was supposed to meet up with Sarah for our… our what? Hang-out? Date? Maybe the use of the word ‘date’ is me being too presumptuous. As I watched the phone ring, thinking of the really beautiful girl waiting for me – probably all by herself – on the parade ground, I looked at Cassy. Her luscious lips, her bubbly personality, her perky boobs that were threatening to burst through her white t-shirt, her creamy yellow thighs, her big posterior that her white shorts were struggling (and failing!) to properly contain, her indisputable intelligence (finished with first class, Chemical Engineering), and her open mindedness were too much for me to walk away from just like that. Like a little boy, meeting her was just like unwrapping a new gift. You don’t do it hurriedly, discard it and run back to the older toy even if it’s also relatively new.


You take your time with your new gift, reveling in all it has to offer. And from the look of things she did have a lot to offer. Nna, I let that phone ring and then put it back in my pocket. I was having too much fun to cut it short now. And I could always reschedule with Sarah later.

‘Is someone calling you?’ The cutie asked.

‘No… it’s all these MTN customer care numbers again.’

‘Na wa o! Those people can disturb ehn.’

‘I dey teh you!’ I exclaimed.

After exchanging numbers and getting to know each other better, it was time to go as most people had already left (including Biggie and her ebony friend) and it was almost 10PM. As we put out the stubs of our cigarettes and made to leave, someone from nowhere grabbed my hand in a deadly vice. I turned in semi-fright – It was Arinze, slumped in his chair like a ragdoll. His eyes were glazed and his words were slurred. I had been so enamoured with my new find that I had totally forgotten I came with someone else.

‘G..gguy d..ddon’t leave me!’ He cried desperately.

I looked at the four empty bottles of big stout in front of him. The dude was obviously wasted.

‘Is he okay?’ Cassy asked.

‘He’ll be fine,’ I replied as I heaved him to his feet and held him close for support.

Arinze mumbled incoherently as he stood up. Something about how he usually drinks more than four bottles on a good day but he doesn’t even know what happened to him today. Cassy and I held him between us, laughing and teasing and wondering where the other person had been this whole time. In many ways, this is the sort of stuff epic love stories are made of. As we got to the front of the hostel, with clusters of guys and girls milling around to say their good nights for the day, I prayed fervently that Sarah wouldn’t find me there. She would be so disappointed. I leaned Arinze against the tennis table and turned to Cassy.

‘So… I guess this is good night.’

‘I guess it is. It was really nice meeting you,’ she said, smiling a gorgeous smile.

I stretched my hand for a farewell handshake but she ignored it, drawing me into a fully frontal bear hug. It felt like I was wrapped in a thick blanket, her body so soft, her boobs so full, her smell so nice. God, where had she been all my life?

‘I’ll call you,’ she said to me as she walked away. Apparently, she was also the take charge kind of girl. I stared after her dreamily until she walked out of sight. I was lost in cloud nine and had almost gotten to my room when I remembered the ‘luggage’ I’d forgotten just outside by the tennis table. I hurried back and found Arinze right where I left him, sprawled and sound asleep. I lifted him to his feet and together we struggled to our room where I dumped him on his bed with the help of another roommate. Few minutes later, he rolled off and fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. This time we all left him there until he stood up and jejely climbed his top bunk space by himself. He for sleep there na.

Ironically, he wasn’t the only one stone drunk that night. One other guy kept screaming ‘Asun! Asun!! Asun!!!’ all through the night. Maybe he was being pursued by a giant asun in his dream. The next morning everyone in the room joined forces and yabbed the living daylights out of the two of them for being such a disgrace to manhood. Someone even shot a video of Mr. Asun and uploaded it on Snapchat.

Me? I was lost in fantasy land, my thoughts drifting between all the females I’d met while in camp – Hajia, Nife, Toyosi, Sarah and Cassandra.

How did I get here?


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