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Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper – Searching for “The one” [Episode 23]

Story by WayWardPikin

I saw Toyosi that evening and we had a nice time over a full chicken and some smoothies. Saw her off to her hostel and that was that. The next morning during morning drills, I was feeling restless once again as I usually am, so I was moving up and down the three lines of Platoon 7. I found myself in front of the platoon at this time, where most of the ladies where. A female soldier attached to our platoon with an ass like a billboard ordered all of us to move forward a bit. As everyone was moving forward, the light skinned girl directly in front of me was still standing in one place, holding up our own lane. With my arms crossed, I bent a little and gently nudged her forward with my shoulders. She turned around to look at me and my heart skipped for a second. She had the most beautiful face I had ever seen, with the most alluring cat eyes. Totally gorgeous, completely my spec, therefore, not my type.

‘I’m sorry,’ I stuttered. ‘They said we should move forward.’

‘Oh okay,’ she said as she complied.

A minute later, and because yours truly just couldn’t help himself:

‘So what’s your name?’

‘My name is Sarah,’ said the lady – and that was it. We spent that whole morning drill gisting, with me putting my comedic skills on display and making her laugh. Somehow, I have a knack for getting people to open up and talk to me. I knew most of the people in my platoon. I knew most of their names. Knew their plans, who’s dating who, who’s tripping for who, who is trying to work what to where, etc. When I’m in the mood, my propensity for amebo is off the charts, which is why it’s totally surprising that I’m at the same time quiet and reserved. I had never seen this girl in our platoon before, and I told her as much.

‘Well that’s because I don’t always come out. I’ve been in the hostel for a few days so I just said let me stretch my legs,’ Sarah said.

‘Wow, so you’re one of those bad eggs that are always dodging morning drills abi?’

‘Yes na, I cannot comman comman kill myself,’ she retorted, laughing.

She cannot comman comman? A woman after my own heart!

When the assembly was over I was about leaving just like that but on second thought I decided to ask for her number which she gave me. I gave her mine as well. Of course, I had no intention of calling her or contacting her at all as the whole thing with Nife had taught me to keep my emotions in check and always hold things at face value. I only collected her number as a force of habit. Sometimes it’s impolite to chat with a girl you just met for so long without at least asking for her number, especially if you both enjoyed the conversation. It doesn’t matter whether you’re going to call her or not. At least, that’s just my thinking.

In the afternoon of that same day we were forced to sit under the canopy and listen to some boring lectures. I sat all by myself, dark shades on, earphones plugged, glued to my mobile phone. You see, my mobile phone is my best friend, and it helps me to while away time. I must have been sitting there for hours when I noticed a familiar face seated just behind me from the corner of my eyes. I turned to look. It was Sarah – the mysterious, seductive, beautiful, and alluring Sarah. Given how long we had spent in camp up to this point, it felt like she had just dropped out of the sky. Where had she been all this while?

‘Ahn ahn…’ I said, opening my mouth like a typical Yoruba man. ‘So you are here??’

‘Yes o.’

‘What are you doing here?’

She looked at me quizzically. ‘I’m sitting down.’

‘I mean, how long have you been here?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe almost an hour now,’ she said.

‘Almost an hour? Didn’t you see me sitting in front of you?’ I mean, come on.

‘I did but you seemed so engrossed in whatever you are doing on your phone so I didn’t want to intrude.’

‘You didn’t want to intrude,’ I replied incredulously. I forgot my phone in the twinkle of an eye and dragged my chair to sit beside her. Soon we were lost in each other’s company, staring into each other’s eyes subtly and not so subtly. There were no airs about her and she was so easy to talk to, like a long lost friend I hadn’t seen in ages. After the lectures it was time for SAED so I bade her farewell and moved to the hall where they would pretend to be imparting knowledge on us when what they were really doing was marketing so we could pay to learn whatever they said they could teach us. After the SAED programme I met up with Toyosi who had once again seen me from afar, enjoying all the electrical charges her body had to offer, and ignoring what I was beginning to suspect was emotional attachment on her part. Our conversations never went too deep and I made sure to avoid topics that would lead to any romantic discussions. I kept it to cracking jokes, talking about her wonderful body, tapping current and asking about her numerous boyfriends and toasters. Anything to deflect the focus from me – or us. I didn’t want to start anything I wouldn’t be able to finish or even create a new enemy. From there I went on to have lunch with the demure Hajia.

Hajia had been very angry and bitter towards me of late. She had been complaining that I was no longer spending so much time with her. And she was right, I wasn’t. But it wasn’t because I didn’t care it was because I’d known more people since the day that we first met and as such it wasn’t possible for me to always spend so much time with her like before. However, I assured her that I would definitely try to improve. We had a fun time together at lunch but I couldn’t help but notice something significantly different about my bestie. She had gotten more audacious! She was all touchy, resty, and feely. She’d tap my shoulders when I joked, she’d grope my arms when we spoke, and she’d occasionally lean her whole body on me, with her bo.obs crushing into me. Of course, this all happened casually as we spoke and it all seemed so natural, at least that’s what the look on her face said. I didn’t know what to make of it or how to react so I acted like I didn’t notice either. She dragged me to the clinic to go see a friend of hers who was not feeling well and as we paid our condolences the lady seemed like she already knew so much about me.

By nightfall I dragged myself into bed preparing for another mundane day in camp. I decided to check my phone one last time as is my custom, and what I saw made my face light up immediately.

‘Hey mister.’ The Whatsapp message from Sarah read.


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